“Here it is: This is the whole thing, this little book, your life, your values are about you. How you carry yourself, the sum of your beliefs that you strive to reach far beyond the norm and accomplish great deeds, are about living a life of true value. It’s all about setting the tone for how you react, how you respond, how you lead in living YOUR life.”
I can officially say I have read an entire book in 4.5 hours. Yes, this just proves how amazing my life is out here. I went to Border’s on Saturday and bought a few books Whitney had requested I read. I came home, sat down on the couch and didn’t get up till the first book was finished. Needless to say, it was a pretty amazing book and my highlighter went CrAzY! The title is “Moving Forward: Taking the Lead in Your Life.” I think every person who is either going through some difficult time, already went through a difficult time, or just wants to improve themselves, should pick up this book and give it a shot. I was a little skeptical at first, because a lot of these so-called “self-improvement” books are just full of mumbo-gumbo and riff-raff that usually goes way over my head (Needless to say, I always think of Dr. Phil and his annoying voice, UGH!). Not this one. Dave Pelzer (the author) clearly goes past all the garbage and gets straight to the point. He is also the author of the famous book “A Child Called IT” (I’m sure you’ve heard of it). It’s the most famous child abuse case in America. His mother abused him, didn’t let him eat, threw him down the basement stairs, made him sleep on a cot, and literally called him “IT.” He was not a part of the family…until a teacher from his middle school finally intervened and made sure he was put into foster care. Now, Dave is a public speaker and an author, and influences men and women all across the world about how to improve yourself, get rid of the garbage in your life, step up, and move on.
I could take all day and point out the wonderful quotes from this book that I have highlighted, but I don’t feel the need. You just have to read it for yourself. Overcoming what he went though is an amazing story to me. He points out that just because you hit a rough patch in life, doesn’t mean you have to mourn over it for years and years to come. He brought up the fact that he met some lady at a book signing and she wanted him to help her. She had been abused one time as a child, and now, 30 years later, she is still going to therapy and getting all worked up and emotional over a 10 minute act of abuse when she was just a little kid. He tells her “to grow the hell up,” not in a mean way, but in a literal way. He points out that people can’t depend on therapy for all of their problems. Why waste your time and money preaching to some strange person? He also mentions that you usually don’t open up to a therapist until the 4th or 5th session anyway. Seems likes such a waste to me. Ultimately, you have to put things in the past, you have to grow up and get over things yourself. It’s not worth stressing about the little things in life.
Dave also talks about a few rough patches in his life. In the chapter called “Stepping Up” he talks about going through his divorce. He moves into a single-house summer cabin that’s at least two decades older than he is (mental picture…ew). He is sitting on his front steps one day and says “I gave thanks for at least having a roof to provide me shelter and an air mattress to lie on. I had more than others. As pitiful as I felt and as alone as I was, I was grateful that at the very least, for a period of my life I had more than anyone could have ever dreamed of.” I think sometimes people take for granted what they have and own. I think sometimes people need to take a step back and wonder what would happen if everything they owned was all taken away. This section makes me think of dad and “the junk house.” Only a select few will get that.
I think my favorite chapter is called “You Gotta Believe.”
“Your esteem, which for some, can change within a single beat of your heart, is displayed by how you carry yourself.” Dave brings up the point that people will see you for how you carry yourself and for what you believe in. You have to be strong about yourself and at least TRY! The best quote from this section is “Doesn’t the experience make us a bit stronger or wiser, or, at the very least, provide us with some foundation, some form of a base to build upon? It damn well should!” I really enjoy how strongly he words things. It makes me want to get up and scream “I AM ME AND I AM PROUD TO BE ME!!”
“Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way” he says in the chapter called “Stepping Up.” He talks about having plans and following through. Don’t say you’re going to do something and don’t. That’s a huge no-no in life. “The more you go for it, the more you succeed.” He states that some people in the world will try to knock you down, but you being the person you are, the person with self-esteem, has to get back up on your high horse and do what you have to do to make yourself a happier person. “That’s why you have a vision – you conceive it, you nurture it, and you strive to see it through. No matter how overwhelming things may be, you hold fast. No matter what others may say or do, no matter the doubt, you have to know in your heart what is true and why you do what you do. And that should be enough.”
Okay, I know I said I wasn’t going to ruin this book by stating a bunch of quotes, but I just can’t help it. Normally I’m not so goo-goo over a stupid little book, but seriously, you need to read this. Even if you think your life is great and can’t get any better, well take another look around you. I love helping people strive to be better. I really want to see people live up to thier potential. It kills me when people just sit around and do nothing to better themselves. The least you can do is try. If all else fails, pick yourself back up and try again. “Continue to reach out beyond the norm to better yourself, as you grow, you’ll only become stronger. You’ll only become all the wiser. So you damn well should be able to take a few jabs along the way. Come on, you can SO do this.”
“At the end of the day, if you can walk away from a bumpy landing, a not-so-good day at work, or a trying time with the family, well, I hope you can draw a positive experience from it, and make taking on that approach vector another day easier.” Everytime you’re faced with a difficult challenge, you can at least walk away telling yourself you learned something. Wether you get over it right away, or have to take baby-steps, either way, it will come. Rise above and overcome.
This book is really helping me deal with my current situation and my struggles in life right now. Sometimes I think I’m too hard on myself and I don’t want to disappoint anyone. But I take a breath, step back and think I need to do this for me and no one else. I need to make myself happy. Dave states “If what you’re doing isn’t working for you, shouldn’t you do something different? I believe you should be happy and achieve all that you desire.” I think I read that quote everyday, multiple times. Is that weird? I just feel comfortable knowing that this is okay and that I will move on. And yes, maybe this is a rocky, bumpy part in my life…but hey, at least I tried!
And I end by saying:
“Whenever I am faced with a challenge, especially the unexpected and overwhelming ones, I always seemed to reflect on where I came from and how fortunate my life has truly become. I could think of no other person who was as lucky as myself. Even with all the chaos, the wild rollercoaster-like highs and lows, and the absolute, petty, needless bullshit flung my way, at least my life was an adventure. At least I had a purpose. Even if I failed, at least I TRIED!”
